The Dark Academy on Korriban

Baesal listened, her eyes relaying empathy.

"I have no problem letting you vent your anger: I can't imagine the pain you are going through... but I can't let you fall into self-loathing" her voice was calm

"I could analyse the situation not because I'm much more smarter then you...I simply got that out of hindsight..."

Her hands stroke her lekku while she seemed to ponder something with gravity

"There is a difference between who you are, who you think you are and what you want to be...would you allow me to tell you not what I think of you, but why I think that way?"

"I don't know, Baes, you're the therapist here. At least I am not plastering my face with my own snot any more so you may be onto something."

Her lips formed an inverted crescent.

"It's just such a mess. One moment you have that big faith and the other it all has to go otherwise you'd not be yourself anymore."

''I know it is confusing...not a lot of what we lived really made sense thus far.''

She took a deep breath

''I think I need to tell you my perspective and a little bit about myself and our time at the academy...I don't remember if I told you that but I came from the mining colony of Mitr V. Long story short the Empire came in and, well, killed a lot of people and emprisonned the others...my familly was killed around that time but I'll spare you the details. I lived because the occuping force found me usefull to keep around to repair and clean their shit. I certainly would have been sent to the slave pens eventually if my force power had not manifested themselves.''

She scratched her head

''When I boarded the Sadow's Rage, I pretty much hated everything and everyone...perhaps it is a reason why I was seemingly the only one who could actually relate to Layne and not be bothered by her attitude. Heh, I might have become quite like her if I had not met you and we had not formed the Tentacle Entente. While it is not as sordid as what you confided to me about your own life, I'd like to think I can somewhat relate. You know the rest of what happened after that since we got throught it together: scavanger hunts, dark valleys, making our own lightsabers, having one of the Lords want to kill us, witnessing the monster rip the living force apart from someone who could very well been us...it's been a hell of a 2 months.''

She then raised her eyebrows

''And do you know what's funny? If I wanted to drink to intoxicate myself I'd have to go to Hutt Space because I'm not even the legal age to consume alcool in the near totality of the Republic and I'm sure you are not much older then me. Imagine that: We have a sith Lord that wants us dead but if we wanted to go drink in Coruscant we would have to get fake IDs first!''

She gave a chuckle

''What I want to say is this: we have both lived so much in a so little amount of time that its easy to forget that we are still hormone and angst filled teens. If we would have been anywhere else we might currently be gushing over which boyband has the prettiest studs....Okay, so, I might be playing a game of Temples and Rancors but that's only because I'm a nerd.'' a light giggle escaped her ''We are not stupid, we are simply teenagers. We make mistakes because we don't have enough experience yet but we think we know better.''

''It's okay to be angry and to be disheartened, who in the galaxy would not be, but don't be so hard on yourself: we still have a lot of room to grow''

Moyr listened intently, for a few moments forgetting about her own sorrows. It was a weird realisation that she could be held accountable for dousing the fires of hatred in Baes and ultimately make her slip to the other side. The gift of camaraderie, sisterly love even, as the seed of betrayal she had sown. Baes' defection could well be her fault. That disgruntled Moyr, but also sent her thoughts spinning. There was more than one lesson here. If Sylvain had not been a douche, would her dark fires have been eventually extinguished as well? Maybe the pain she was now going through was the gift from the Dark Side, another ordeal? But Baes' final words resonated even more in her. Her foolish hopes of an inseparable bond, of ultimate dedication was... childish. A sign of lingering adolescence. And the hurt he had dealt - a chance to come of age. The last hair on which her past had been hanging at her ankles, pulling her down.

She wiped the snot off her face and straightened.

"You know, Baes, I think you're right. Even though my childhood was not allowed to last much beyond my curves showing, I may have clung to some immature ideals. To my justification, Shang was close to a pirate prince bad girls fantasise about, in behaviour if not in looks. He killed his employer to save me from a gruesome fate, he was faithful to me to the core, and when the time came he gave up his life for me, buying me the only shot to live he could, the one I have not wasted..."

She needed a long pause. Tears welled up again, but she suppressed them with a stern expression of self-anger.

"... And truth be told, I hadn't even really loved him, until he was gone. But this is it. The good men don't linger. They don't have the staying power in this world. And to try to have a second try, to project my dream of being with a man like that again onto Torsin was stupid and petulant. I fully deserve this harsh lesson. He would have never deceived me if I hadn't allowed him to, allowed myself to be naive and sentimental, to sing out my weakness as if it were something worthy of showing. But I'll learn from it. Never again. The girl is gone."

Her features hardened as she looked at Baes.

"You've proven to be the stronger one. You've followed your belief, leaving the burdensome attachments behind."

''I have not left all of them behind, dear'' her smile was still warm

''I am unsure if I understand the ultimate freedom you spoke of...to me freedom is the ability to choose your own attachments. You allowed me to cut my ties to the Empire and the Sith but, like I said, I refuse to give up on the entente''

She leans forward and almost whispers

''If the universe does not allow something...then change it so it does.''

"I will, Baes, in time."

Moyr leaned in and tapped the holographic nose of the Togruta with her finger, then managed a forced smile as she triggered the upload.

"On Yavin, we returned to the star spot and managed to find an uncharted nebula with the help of Rum Gol. Maybe Hazzan's cache is there. I am sending you the astrographic coordinates. If you decide to check it out, be mindful I would not be happy if it aided the Jedi Order. It's just for you, Baes."

She nods with a smile

''I will do what I can but I doubt that my new master can be fooled. At any rate you will not be exposed''

She types as she receives the data

''I will investigate...but even if the jedi involve themselves I'll report our finds to you. Any tidbit of help will help against Zash.''