The Dark Academy on Korriban

Walking back from the chat with Harad that surely had enlightening and uplifting qualities to it. Kristal was in thought. Plans had to be made to move forward. Moving forward was all she could let herself think about because right now sucked. With solid footing befitting a Serasai she was making her way back to her room and just about turned a corner when...

From an adjacent hallway Sylvain, staring at his datapad, turned around a corner and bumped directly into Kristal.

"Excuse m..." He started as he looked up to see the brown eyes of the woman who had cast him from her presence.

Instinctively both arm's came up, but only one had the hand to brace herself against the body that had appeared her front of her as she swung around the bend. It took her a moment, but a quick one... she would recognize him anywhere.

"Sy-..Sylvain.."

Sylvain's hand which held the datapad bumped into Kristal's breast where her hand could not protect it. The bump was only momentary, however, as he quickly took a step back.

"Kris...tal." He added the ending part of her name in a way that seemed unnatural even to him.

There was just silence for a moment of Kristal looking at him. Just seeing Sylvain when she did, despite everything. That he accidentally bumped into her chest wasn't something she seemed to notice much. There were far greater physical concerns that felt weird with the situation to her that it didn't quite register.

"Are you.. well?" she asked, seeming to realize how awkward and odd it was to ask that for them the moment the words passed her lips.

"Given the circumstances." He said with a nod.

"Your arm? I assume you'll be getting it enhanced soon." They were not the words he would have wanted to say, but they were the words he felt he was compelled to say by her desire to have him remain isolated.

"Enhanced... you make it sound like an improvement," she said, words a bit off but holding to that Kristal strength more than not.

"Over what is there now, perhaps. Though it would have been ideal to have never lost it in the first place no doubt." He said.

"Best to replace that which has been cut off, no? I hope you are able to locate a sufficient replacement soon enough." There obviously was a double meaning implied in his comment that he had little interest in keeping secret.

"If I could fix it, restore what was, I would," she said honestly. Perhaps even to both.

Kristal crossed her arm over her stomach. Almost doing the same with her left before she realized how little effect it had. Relearning certain things was proven difficult, but hopefully she wouldn't have to.

"A noble sentiment. Though how does one repair damage that cannot be undone?" He asked, still maintaining a cool exterior.

He shakes his head, "One cannot. And so you are left with trying to find a suitable replacement... Hopefully it will be something that you can trust not to cause any temporary setbacks for you, for from what I know of you lately your tolerance for things that are burdensome to you is relatively short."

A question I asked myself every second since I learned of your indiscretion.

And the answer I tried to avoid...

"It was a one of a kind thing. You can't replace something like that, once it's been broken..." she said with honesty. Seventeen years and she'd only ever gotten close to two people. Kristal couldn't see the possibility of finding someone she could trust like that again.

After a pause, she looked to him straight, "Do you really believe that?"

He straightened up a bit as well, "What am I supposed to think Kristal? For 15 years I stood by your side through thick and thin..." The pretense was dropped quickly when he saw her guard come down a single notch, "...then in my moment of weakness and stupidity I am cast aside as if nothing I ever did or ever could do could stop the pain I was causing you."

He then shook his head, "I was overbearing and instigated the contention, but you were the one that asked for me to go away. It is you who apparently thought that what is broken could never be fixed, and elected to cut your losses rather than try and deal with the difficult road ahead. I do not fault you for your decision, it was a rational one given your thoughts of what you think that I am, and your own emotional state at the time... and it is incumbent upon me, as the last act as your friend to honor your wishes and see to it that your vision is fulfilled. You needn't worry about me being an encumbrance to you any longer Kristal. You've made your decision, there is no need to go back on it now. Even if I personally feel it to be the wrong one... I owe you that much as a friend."

"You forced my hand when I was laying beaten in a cot," she said, putting her shoulders wide. "I didn't want to tell you to go, but I didn't even know who you were anymore. How you've been since we've gotten here..."

Kristal paused, bringing up her hand and placing it on his chest as they stood in the hallway.

"You told me in that tent that you loved me... again... yet I had spoken with Moyr before the battle. She's convinced she's still in your heart, she's convinced that I'm some limiting reminder of a day since passed. I can't separate what's a lie and the truth anymore when I look at you and it hurts. It hurts to a level where I cannot withstand it. Every time I see you.. I see two. There is the Sylvain Torsin I grew up with, the one I loved, and the one I thought I was in love with and then... this. Whoever you are now."

Pushing against his chest, perhaps more as a support than anything, she took one step closer. Made it more private at least even if it made it look more private to onlookers too. Speaking softly, which was different for Kristal.

"I didn't know how else to make you leave.. I needed you to cool down, to.. not be who you've been becoming. You hurt me Sylvain Torsin. You hurt me in a way I don't know if I can ever heal from. Ever return from..."

"I don't know what to say to that Kris..." He said nearly dumbfounded.

"The Sylvain you have created in your mind... the one that doesn't care for you... that Sylvain has never existed... There is a fool, one that cannot properly express how deeply and fully he has loved you and has bumbled around trying to find himself after the events of the past month has tossed him in ways he never dreamed of..."

He shook his head, "I intended to give you time to heal... but when I heard of your injury... it was as if I had taken the lightsaber through the heart... I needed to be needed by you... to be able to be the Sylvain I had always been. Surely you can see how my actions were coming from.. I mean... I love you... maybe...?

He paused only briefly, "Then when you told me to leave and never return, it was if you took that lightsaber and twisted it downward... gutting me completely." He looked into her eyes.

"I know I have done worse to you... and will forever regret my actions but I choose to believe that I am still the man that you love... and I would do anything to prove that to you. Even accept your banishment of me... I have been and will always be fiercely loyal to you... The exterior parts may make it appear differently, but you can't listen to that which comes from an unreliable source... I will always be honest with you... even to my own detriment..." He was obviously referencing having told her about his indiscretions.

"I feel as if I have lost an important appendage through my failures... and I will miss you more than you miss your arm if you don't allow me to prove the veracity of my words to you..."

Kristal fell the little forward she needed to for her forehead to land against his chest. Hand in a fist right beside it, resting on the side of his shoulder. Not hitting him, but tapping against his shoulder. It was, at best, a confusing mess of feelings. Kristal's voice was off, sounded almost tired in it's way, like she was ready to cry.

"Damnit Sylvain. You make it impossible to hate you... but I can't bring myself to forgive you. I can't even look at you without reminding myself of that pain... I don't know what to do."

"Unfortunately I don't think I can be trusted to offer the answer to that question..." He said with a look of empathy and loving tenderness.

"I want you to be my side and work through everything until we were stronger than before... I want everything that I promised to you on that night... I want to hold our children in my arms one day..." He said with intent, but a deeply sad intent.

"But I don't seem to be making the best decisions concerning you for the past week or so... So I will fully trust our fate to your decision. Whatever it may be, and whenever it may come... Unless you ask me to make it for us... Then I will sweep you away the instant you allow me, and fulfill on all my promises."

Kristal pushed against him, aiming to push herself away more than anything. It was a hard and painful thing to do, but it was like pulling out a bad tooth. Leaning herself against him like that only caused her more bleeding pain.

"I.. I can't open myself like that again Sylvain, but I cannot decide as simply as you put it. I feel numb."

"I can't trust you Sylvain Torsin... no matter how much I might want to."

"Maybe not today... and maybe not ever... but I hope someday you will... I know you would not be disappointed." He said as a single tear escaped the side of his eye. "I know I could heal that wound given time... but if you need to prep it before I get to work, then take as much time as you need."

He smiled warmly, grabbing her shoulders softly, with tears welling in his eyes, "I'll be waiting."

Kristal looked to him for a moment, then down and away. It was hard seeing him at all, seeing him like this just pained her more. Still, she had enough strength in reserve to bear it for now.

"I need time," she said a touch meekly. Though it was still Kristal, so that softness almost seemed a bit off. Not being able to bring herself to say anything more harshly.

He smiled incidentally letting another slip from his eye, "Gladly."

He then squeezed her shoulders gently, "I hope you don't mind if I keep my eyes out for you... I'll be in a position to do so very soon... No matter how hard I try to stop it, I still enjoy watching you when you aren't aware... That night under the moon got me hooked... I'll try to be a generally benign stalker, I promise." He said with a little chuckle, indicating he was teasing with his normal Sylvain humor.

Sylvain was back to his old self a bit perhaps, but Kristal wasnt. She couldn't be. Perhaps it was his best attempt at putting a good foot forward but she couldn't match that step.

Instead, she bottled up a bit and stood there in thought for a moment. Part of her wanted to be the Strong Kristal Serasai she knew she was, but she couldn't push herself to act that way. Not so soon after everything that happened.

He dropped his hands down to his side slowly and straightened up a bit. "I'm sorry Kris... I didn't mean to insult you..."

He fought the strong urge in his chest to wrap her in his arms. It was the natural reaction that came to him, but he struggled mightily in his mind to control himself. Kris would do what she was going to do when she was going to do it. Doing nothing was doing something he felt would help her in ways proactive action wouldn't.

"Contact me whenever... to tell me whatever... even if it is something that I don't want to hear. I promise to control myself in a way that you could respect. I refuse to make things more difficult for you anymore." He said as he tucked his datapad under his arm, as if preparing to leave.

After a moment she looked down, shook her head a bit and then straightened herself up again.

"I will speak to you again, Torsin," she said, satisfying both parts of herself. Part of it was cold and put a wall up, but then it also let her say his name to remind her of who he was.

"Good bye Kristal." He said with one last longing look, it was all he could do to restrain himself.

He then bowed to her and moved to the side to allow her to pass.

Without anymore she could manage to say she gave a quick nod and continued on her way past him. Straight back to her room.